Reevaluating Nightgame

Last Friday night, I went out with a new group of wings. This was a rare foray into night game for me, as I have day gamed exclusively for the past year. As I have been honing my craft and getting good at game during daytime interactions with women, I was curious to see how those skills would transfer over to a night game environment.

I have previously been very skeptical about spending time on night game because in my mind, it did, and quite frankly still does, have numerous disadvantages:

1. There are cockblockers.
2. You need to compete with loud music to have a conversation.
3. Girls are usually in groups with friends that you need to navigate, which could easily turn into cockblocking.
4. The demographics are often unfavorable - there are usually more men than women in the venue.
5. All the betas in the place - often drunk, will make girls more defensive.

The question is however, whether the advantages of night game can outweigh these assumed disadvantages. In my mind, there are two major advantages of night game that seem to make it well worth the time and which I have perhaps failed to grasp fully:

1. There is less approach anxiety because it is a social venue and you are expected to meet people (irrelevant if you're already at a stage where your approach anxiety has been reduced to the margins, but significant for beginners).
2. Most importantly, at least some of the girls there are sexually available (and as you will recall from my Craig Proctor post, some is all you need). They are open to the possibility of meeting a cool guy and having sex with him - either that night or after some dates. As a proportion compared to the general population, there will be far more sexually available women in a night venue than during the day.

I noticed immediately upon entering that I felt basically no approach anxiety. As expected, my accumulated experience in the day kept that on the margins. Still, I played how I usually played, staying back and looking around for girls that I thought were likely to be receptive. The story of how this eventually played out can be seen in the link at the top.

Overall my experience that night made me question some of these assumptions I had about night game:

1. The cockblocking was there, but it was done in such an inept fashion that a guy with some game experience could have easily gotten through it, and I did.
2. The demographic situation of the night was certainly at base unfavorable. In the first place we went to, there were many different age groups, but it was somewhat expected since it was a high-end place in Midtown. For what it's worth, this is a shot of the skyline view from the joint:

However, an astute man can turn seemingly unfavorable situations like these into favorable ones by being aware of the principal of assortative mating.

Readers should be familiar with this principle. The entire purpose of game awareness is essentially assortative mating - to improve your success in attracting high quality women by becoming high quality yourself. High quality women want high quality men and vice versa. If you manipulate this to your advantage, you will get those high quality women.

Consider some of what I said on RVF. In stark contrast to a lot of guys there, including the one that tried to cockblock me, my friends and I were all dressed like winners and were young and fit. The point is that while the demographics in absolute numbers may not be favorable, you can in effect take advantage of something like a per capita rate by excelling all the betas and thus driving the hot young girls to you. This is in effect what happened at this place both with my friend and with myself. From there, use game to find the sexually available women.

One point I would however make is that you don't want to walk into a place that's a sausagefest. No matter how good you are, you should select a place that has a reasonable amount of women looking to buy. One of the places we walked into on Friday was a massive sausagefest so we left immediately.

Night game, because of the sexual atmosphere, also allows for greatly amped physical escalation, which would be inappropriate during the daytime. The leads you generate will therefore probably be more solid. Whereas I often find myself losing momentum too quickly from daygame girls, night game momentum, due to the increased sexualized atmosphere, is far more concrete. I'm maintaining momentum with minimal effort with Friday's girl. The experience of being sexually ramped up with another person is not lost so easily.

I'm still only really scratching the surface. It will take some more time to figure out all of the assumptions and how they can be tweaked based on empirical experience, but I think I'm on the right track.

Frustrations in Game

Although the story about his dad is not true (they did this to set Arnold up as the douchebag champion for Ferrigno to beat), the words he begins with at the start of the clip are undeniably true and reveal Arnold's mindset that made him a winner. If you let an "outside negative force come in and effect you", you are dead in the water, in anything.

As far as game is concerned, there are a lot of these outside negative forces. You need to be prepared for these or you will be bitterly disappointed and possibly give up. Logistics and flakes can often bite you in the ass, and it can be incredibly frustrating. The point is to not let it get to you and cut those emotions off.

One such incredibly frustrating example occurred yesterday. The full description of the approach can be found here, but to paraphrase:

1. I'm coming home. On the way I see two hot girls walking. One of these two is the hottest girl I've seen in two months.
2. While two betas emerge from a building and gawk at them before pussying out, muttering excuse after excuse among themselves, I smirk inwardly and open the girls. The girls are recent arrivals from Norway. The hotter one just got here a couple of weeks ago (and players will know that those girls tend to be more DTF).
3. I quickly dominate the scene with some screening and compliance tests. I get the two girls to follow me. The really hot girl with huge blue eyes is immediately attracted. The friend was no slouch either but I could feel her gradually becoming more distant. Such a thing is natural.
4. They begin to mutter about going to a coffee shop and I suggest a few places, but gradually the frame begins to shift and I did not want to buy into theirs. Had the friend not been there, I'd have gotten the hotter girl on an instant date, no questions asked.
5. Not being able to do this, I have to ask for a phone number. Hotter girl agrees immediately and gives me hers. Problem is, her phone is not yet active (sounds weird, I know, but I confirmed the truth of this). I still do have her number.
6. Frame begins to slip from me more and I try to get her email. She talked about Facebook but given my natural revulsion towards it I refused at first. I should have just taken it and left. The parting ended amicably, but I did not have the extreme dominance I had when it began.

As you can see, had circumstances been only slightly different, things would have gone a lot differently. I'd have gotten this gorgeous girl on an instant date and if her phone had been active I would have been able to part in a better place. Instead what happened happened. There's probably not much I can do except text her in a few days to see if the phone is active, and even if it was, I would not be surprised if it the text was dead on arrival.

Once again, logistics got in the way of what would have otherwise been a perfect pick up. This can be incredibly frustrating. Believe me, when you have a girl that hot eating out of the palm of your hand only for things to get derailed at the last minute, the natural instinct cannot be one that isn't frustration.

But like Arnold said, you need to cut those emotions off and be cold, analyzing what happened rationally and learning from it. The takeaway from this for me was this:

My in-person game is top notch. It's so top notch that I can now easily open groups of hot girls on the street, be dominant with them, and attract the hottest girls.

This is huge progress for someone who was suffering from very bad approach anxiety less than a year ago.

This is a mindset I need to take into my text and phone game now, which I have viewed as a problem and have for too long bought into the old PUA bullshit. In addition to building up more comfort in my approaches (I believe this is a problem in that I build up a lot of attraction but not enough comfort), I need to convey that I'm entitled to that pussy in all things, not just in person.

2015 certainly has started off well.

The Need for a Higher Calling

A couple of months ago I found myself outside, enjoying the October scenery. It was the height of autumn, and the colorful tapestry of the trees glowing in shades of red and yellow was quite pleasing to the eyes. Amidst the contrast of the concrete jungle that is New York City, it’s quite a welcome diversion to enjoy the parks and get a feel for the natural world as best a city slicker might. That environment is also a natural place to day game, and the fall portrait was not the only thing that pleased my eyes that day.

I quickly spotted a girl to approach, but I began to hesitate. I’m quite a logical and analytical person, as some of you may have figured out by now, and while my analysis is usually correct regarding women to approach versus women to not, I sometimes may miss out on opportunities. She was sitting on a bench, fiddling with her phone. I thought about approaching, but decided against it at first, and walked away. Then I looked back and saw her still sitting there. My mind began to stir, and an inner voice called out to me – “can you stand?” Remembering that encounter, I decided to go back. When the opportunity came, I took it. I’m glad I did.

Out of all the women I have met thus far since starting this journey, she was by far the most interesting. This will not surprise most of my natural readers, but she is from outside the Anglosphere. She’s from Russia, but isn’t an ethnic Russian, hailing instead from the Circassian ethnic minority group in the Caucuses. We sat there on that bench and talked for two hours straight that we didn’t know went by. Naturally we exchanged contact information and while it was troubled by delays and scheduling, I saw her again a few weekends later.

The timing was somewhat amusing to me, because I had another date not 24 hours earlier. My companion from that evening is a sweet, feminine girl whose company I enjoyed, but whose sophistication and grace couldn't compete. I could and did discuss any topic under the sun with her, ranging from the small things to the dilapidation in culture, historical figures in power, the psychology of crowds, whether or not there was free will, and on.

The most interesting part of the date came when she began to go a little bit further into her background and her faith. On our first encounter she told me that Circassians are somewhat of a scapegoat and face social disadvantages in Russia. Unlike her counterparts in the West however, she does not use any of this to play the victim or demand that other people conform to her opinions because she is somehow oppressed. In short: she lacks that element of solipsistic narcissism that comprises the social justice left here in the West.

Instead, she is the type to rise and meet her challenges and get past them, and she has been relatively successful. She mentioned her faith in God, and, no doubt showing my ignorance of the situation and her culture, I asked if she was Eastern Orthodox. She surprised me by replying that she was a Muslim, which is something I wouldn’t have believed. Obviously she practices her faith differently than her Middle Eastern counterparts, but she seemed at least somewhat grounded in it. I contrasted this somewhat with my own background, being an agnostic and believing fervently in extreme libertarianism in my early twenties. My reply was that while I still did not believe in any specific faith, I respect such things more now in my later twenties, and it’s evidenced by the fact that I would far rather spend time with someone like her than any of the people who espouse no true belief in anything other than themselves, who have no higher calling in life or higher devotion. Back in those days of my early twenties, I did not truly believe in anything either, as my extreme libertarianism was a crutch excusing mindless individualism at the expense of any greater culture or belief system, albeit it was a crutch with much more sophisticated logic and germs of truth as compared to the Cultural Marxists whose worldview is entirely based on falsehood.

Quintus Curtius mentioned in an article a while ago that people need to submit to a higher authority, a higher calling. There also needs to be hardship and challenges to overcome. Without these things, society and the self degenerate. I have no doubt that a big part of the reason why she is such a high quality girl – feminine and worldly, was that she grew up in a somewhat traditional family, faced a degree of hardship, and has a higher calling to keep her grounded. She brings value to the world, but her value system keeps her ego in check. She can accomplish things, but has not a hint of arrogance.

After our date ended, I began to contemplate my own existence. There is no question that I have had it very good. There’s also no question that I could have fallen very far and stayed there because of it. Were I a little different, were I someone that did not think as carefully as I do, did not immerse myself in the past and its great works as much as I do, I might very well have fallen into that Cultural Marxist malaise that plagues so many of my contemporaries. Attention whoring on social media never appealed to me, but if my consistent thoughts were only a bit different, who knows what might have happened?

But even though I was mentally grounded in some ways, I still lacked a conflict and a drive. I was taking the easy way out, abandoning myself to, as Louis XIV sneers in hismemoirs “inactivity and indolence.” I was content with mediocrity. There was no conflict to spur me to do great things or higher calling to meet. The Manosphere in a way provided me with that challenge to embrace my own kind of hardship and forge myself in fire. It seemed to have been the missing ingredient and this is its ultimate service to its inhabitants. In a world of untold wealth, an internal, personal conflict to overcome is needed to keep you in a sane place.

Glory is a fleeting thing however, and while I enjoy my newfound glories and still seek more, I wonder if there’s still something more out there that is needed for the soul, something perhaps irrational. I doubt I’ll start to believe in any kind of religion any time soon, but I wonder if its abandonment made me, and society, perhaps shallower than I otherwise would have been. I don’t particularly feel any spiritual void at the moment, but I can safely say that she made me contemplate such matters a bit more thoroughly.

That is perhaps the most rewarding experience of all with meeting her, and why I think it’s important for men here to, in addition to finding their own personal challenges and hardships, to date women from other cultures, since our own is so substantially dead. In addition to soaking in the more typical feminine energy of a foreign girl, you are exposed to a culture that is perhaps not so neurotic, that values more than the mindless license of someone to be an automaton of a consumer culture. There simply needs to be more to life than competing over who can be the first one to get the new iPhone, the most likes on Facebook, or the most orbiters on Instagram.

A Two-Tiered System for Overcoming Approach Anxiety

There she is. All you need to do is approach.

You're walking, and then you see her. She's beautiful. You want so badly to say hello. Your heart is pounding and you're frozen in your spot. She gets away. You feel like shit for the rest of the day. We've all been in this situation. It's approach anxiety, and it's a bitch.

This is an oft-done topic on pickup sites and forums, mostly because I think everyone needs to work on this in their own way. As in most things when it comes to game, everyone will likely have their own style.

In my experience (and my experience was a struggle), I've found that there's two components to overcoming approach anxiety: an inner game one and an outer game one. Your inner game (which is probably a bit of a misnomer) is in short, your identity - the nexus of interests, hobbies, thoughts, habits, etc. that compose who you are. Your outer game is your behavior around women and more broadly, your social skills in general.

Note that the system I am about to lay out assumes that you are already "normal." That is to say, you have at least a few interesting thoughts or hobbies going on that will make you somewhat intriguing and you are not socially inept. If you are not normal, you better work on becoming normal. Take heart though, that "normal" can be a pretty loose definition. As long as you aren't sitting around playing Call of Duty all day, you will likely be at least to a degree interesting, and you may be nervous in social situations, but it doesn't mean you are socially inept. In many ways you might be your own worst critic. I used to think that I was socially awkward too and that no woman would be attracted to me. This was obviously wrong. In truth, very few people are so uninteresting or have social skills so far down the gutter that this system shouldn't work for them, and in even better news, the inner game component of this system will make you more interesting.

I also believe it's worth mentioning my own history before I go into this. I used to have very bad approach anxiety. It seemed like there was an unbreakable wall that stopped me from going after the women I wanted. I saw her, but I couldn't get past this invisible barrier and I'd leave feeling bad all day. And for this guy, this guy that I used to be, simply telling him to go out and approach isn't usually going to help because he's lacking in confidence. His entire way of thinking needs to be addressed and this negative coding in his brain needs to be rewritten by a new program, and this is it.

Now let's get to the inner game system. Note that you need to make these into habits (at least at first). Doing them sporadically will not be enough to rewrite your brain's programming. Once you're approaching consistently you can slack off but it's still not something I would recommend. So, without further ado, here's the inner game component:

1. Don’t Overwhelm Yourself with Seduction Literature

This is not going to help as much as you may think.

Yes, you need to know the basics of what to do, and more importantly, what not to. But once you know these basics, you are rapidly approaching the point of diminishing returns. Reading any further is only taking precious time that can be devoted to something more productive, and getting you too far in your own head. Take a few refreshers here and there if you think you need to, but stop reading and start acting.

2. Start an Exercise Program

In my opinion, this is the most important step, and it is the one that brings the most rapid results. A vigorous program of exercise will not only make you look better and thus increase your confidence, but it will elevate your testosterone, which will make you hungrier, more aggressive, and more motivated (which carries over not just into approaching, but in all aspects of life). Perhaps most importantly, you will impose self-discipline, which is crucial to every other step on this list.

3. Watch What You Eat

"You are what you eat" is a truth. I will not give dietary advice because I’m not qualified to (and I cannot know what each man’s body chemistry is like). But I can tell you what’s helped me. Simple steps I took was to at least severely reduce my consumption of processed sugars and white flour, and making sure I eat a good breakfast every morning that consists of protein and animal fats (eggs, egg whites, and organic bacon or sausages are my main staple). Foods such as these will repair the muscles in your body after a workout and will increase your testosterone further. In addition, try to avoid products that mimic estrogens, and eat cruciferous vegetables, as they have been shown to cleanse the body of these phyto-estrogens (broccoli has been a staple of my diet for a while). Do not heat foods in plastic if possible (this releases phyto-estrogens). Use glass instead.

4. Stop Watching Porn

Really, just don’t do it. By watching porn you are training your mind to be satisfied with pixels on a screen. After a mere week of stopping its intake I looked at girls very differently, and my motivation and energy to approach them was on overdrive. This rule applies to both video and still images.

5. Severely Limit Masturbation

In a related vein, I recommend limiting masturbation. Once a week at the very most. After a few days you will start to become very horny, and that motivation and sexual energy will naturally translate into approaching girls. Sometimes you will feel as if you are being literally guided by your dick and there is no stopping you. Trust me that this energy is far more powerful than any fear.

6. Consciously Focus on Your Body Language

While your exercise regimen will greatly help you in having naturally good body language, try and focus on this until it becomes ingrained. Remember at all times: shoulders back, head held slightly up, feet shoulder-width apart, and move slowly. Body language alone can make a huge difference not just in how other people perceive you, but in how you perceive yourself.

Body language that speaks power.

 

7. Train Your Voice

Good body language is important, but so is having good vocal tones. If your voice is weak and nervous, don’t be surprised if you don’t get anywhere. Fortunately there’s a rather easy way to train yourself to be a good speaker, and I got good at it long before I came into the game. Train your voice by continuously engaging in speaking projects – this can be public speaking, making videos, podcasts, or the like. With a few months of consistent practice, you will be amazed at how much better you sound, and your voice tones will be naturally good. You will therefore speak well when approaching a girl, because speaking well is ingrained in your nature.

8. Read These Two Books

Hey now, I didn’t say that all reading was bad. Read The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene, and Think & Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill. These two books completely changed my outlook on life. They are on Roosh’s list of ten recommended books for a reason. Get to it.

The ultimate aphrodisiac.

9. Be a Conscientious Observer

A crucial skill to develop in any case, it will also give you more confidence. You will realize just how pathetic most human beings in this world are, and how easy it is to excel them. Claiming a crown is about being above the crowd, and it is a lot easier than you think. Be above average, and you will be paid in dividends.

10. Do the Twenty Men Exercise

All of us need powerful role models to look up to. They motivate and give us valuable lessons. Unfortunately, these are hard to come by in modern society. So, carefully select a list of twenty men, living or dead, that for whatever reason, you admire and seek to learn from. Write them down, and write your list of reasons why you chose them. Then read their works, and read about them. Associate with them (however remotely) and you will start to be like them.

11. Find a Community

A similar step to the previous one, you should find a community of guys that want to get ahead in life and associate with them. You will start to think like them, and you will be able to get good advice. You will also, crucially, have people to hold yourself accountable to. In an era where the male sphere is under constant assault by the forces of political correctness, this is absolutely crucial. In my opinion it is second in importance to finding a good exercise regimen. Return of Kings and Roosh's forum has helped me a lot (my criticisms of the previous site still stand, however). These may not work for you and that's fine. Just find a forum that does.

12. Find Your Optimal Look

I'll be making some more content regarding this down the road, but you should be experimenting with different styles to find one that fits you. Find out the shape of your face and get an appropriate haircut from a good stylist. And I emphasize good because most barbers are not known for being that great. Find some cool accessories (a ring, a pendant, a belt buckle, etc.) that convey a part of your identity. DO NOT WEAR RUNNING SHOES UNLESS YOU'RE AT THE GYM (or...out running). Experiment with different facial hair lengths (the shape of your face and the color of your facial hair will be most important with this as well. Also, be careful not to look like an emasculated hipster). And please, take care of your skin with a good cleanser, moisturizer, and facial scrub.

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13. Desensitize Yourself to the Presence of Beautiful Women

A lot of us simply aren’t exposed to beautiful women enough, even if we think we are. Don’t worry, you don’t need to approach just yet, but when you start to master some of the previous steps, it’s time to get out there and observe the women around you that you want to talk to. Through repeat exposure, you will begin to desensitize yourself and figure out ways to break through the final approach barrier.

Consistent application and devotion to this program will start to rewire your brain. Your confidence and motivation will soar, and you will begin to work, slowly, toward busting through your approach anxiety and getting into the game.

Once you feel comfortable with the inner game component, you can begin the outer game component, which is fortunately, far simpler.

Before you start approaching you need to take note of one thing, however: a successful approach is just that - you successfully opened your damn mouth and began to make a conversation with a girl you hope to eventually have sex with. The ugly truth is that most of your approaches are going to "fail" in the sense that they won't lead to sex.

But the person afraid of this has the mindset of a loser. Every approach is a success - not only because you are doing something that very few men are capable of doing, but you are gaining experience and ultimately having fun doing it.

So now that that’s been covered, there is also something crucial I want you to keep in the back of your mind at all times:

The fear of the approach is complete bullshit.

It is a faulty perception, nothing more. Your goal is to make sure that this perception does not become reality. In all my approaches, I have never had a bad experience. I've only encountered slight bitchiness on three or four occasions and I just walked away, smirking about it as I did so. Most women are friendly or at least congenial, provided you don’t look and act like a loser, and that’s not exactly a hard benchmark to clear.

Now, there are two basic dimensions in the anatomy of a successful approach:

1. Find an Opener

Yeah, yeah, I know. The old adage that it doesn’t really matter what you say is true. To her. Most of the time. However it does matter to you. Approach anxiety (in my experience) mostly comes not from a fear of rejection, but a fear of the unknown. There are a lot of uncertainties (in your mind) that are present when approaching a stranger. So, you need to be certain about something. Your opener is that certainty. It is a small one, but a completely adequate one. Having a certain opener drastically reduces the anxiety that is coursing through your brain and trying to get you to pussy out. So, when you see a girl you fancy, find an opener. I don’t care what it is, just find one. 

(As a note: I prefer direct openers for this reason. Not only are they more ballsy and congruent, but they are far simpler to come up with than actively having to think of a situational opener which will likely make you more nervous. With direct openers, you do not have the "what do I say?!" hesitation. My go-to opener in most situations is to simply walk up to a girl with a polite "excuse me" and tell her that I thought she looked nice and I wanted to come over and say hi. Simple, direct, socially appropriate, and certain.)

2. Move

When you see a girl you like, and you have your opener ready, move your ass towards her. Unlike the first point, this is not merely a psychological trick you need to play on yourself. It is absolutely crucial to a successful approach and is grounded in solid science along with hundreds of thousands and even millions of years of human experience. The first physiological reaction in our body’s response to fear is to freeze.

Back when our more primitive hominid ancestors were running around on the savanna, they needed to be careful to avoid predators. We weren’t always the dominant species on Planet Earth. Back then, our ancestors were rather puny and with little to make up for it. It’s a known fact that predators give chase. When facing off against a lion, the thing you don’t want to do is run away. So how did our ancestors react – at least the ones that survived? Easy, they froze.

While it seems silly that our brains fear that hottie over there with the high heels and a skirt in the same way that they used to fear lions and other fearsome predators, that is essentially what they are doing. When you freeze, that fear is only going to increase and your brain is going to think of nothing else. You see a predator. You want to avoid its attention and then get as far away as possible.

To counteract this fear, you must stay in motion. A funny thing happens when you approach an object that you fear - your brain starts to get less afraid because it is filling up with adrenaline. You are entering the fight response. Simply put you are going to be much more afraid just sitting there and looking at her than by actually walking towards her. It sounds contradictory, but most other guys that approach consistently will likely tell you the same thing.

So once you have that opener ready and certain, move your butt over to your girl. At this point something almost automatic happens – you deliver your opener, she responds well, and amazingly, you are now in a conversation with this hottie. You thought it wasn’t even possible, but here you are.

Once you begin to do this, and if you have a rudimentary knowledge about the principles of game and an interesting personality, something amazing happens. You’ll begin to realize that you had it in you all along, and it was only this fear, this one little fear, that was holding you back.

When you know what you want to say, move immediately.

Enjoy!

A couple of concluding thoughts...

The more used to an environment you get, the easier your approaches will be. One of my favorite venues is Central Park and so approaching women there is very easy now. Approaching on the street for instance, is a bit harder, because I have less experience.

Your overall experience will make approaching less difficult in general, but your experience of approaching in different environments will make it much less difficult. For this reason, it makes sense to have a few spots that you specialize in to get the most bang for your buck.

Also, approach anxiety never fully goes away. It becomes more and more manageable as time goes on and you experience success, but you will always have it. Sometimes however you will wind up not approaching. That's fine. Just take it all in stride.

I also made a video to go with this article:

Game for ENTJs

I've been taking some MBTI tests recently. And yes, I know there are some problems with the MBTI, but I do find it to be generally accurate when it comes to describing my overall personality as well as those of some individuals I have interacted with regarding compatibility and other issues.

The result I tend to get across multiple tests is ENTJ:



(Never is an alias I use on another forum.)

Sometimes I get ESTJ, but ENTJ seems to describe me a bit better. A basic description of the ENTJ personality can be found here and here.

This personality type is generally rare, occurring in about 2-5% of men and 1-3% of women. It is also sometimes called the Executive, the Field Marshal, or the Chief, because ENTJs are quick to take command and are strategic thinkers, which often makes them successful leaders.

I must say that I believe that this is one of the best personality types for game. It is distinctly masculine and is often associated with alpha animals. There are also some disadvantages though, and I will go over these as well.

Advantages of the ENTJ personality type:

1. Leadership

ENTJs are considered to be natural leaders, as described above. In detailed corporate surveys, ENTJs are heavily disproportionate when it comes to leadership positions. If you are this personality type, you will likely have a lot of energy and vigor, with intellect to match, and you will thus take control of your social interactions more often than not.

This will naturally tend to make you the leader in your interactions with women, and this is one of the most important parts of your game. Frame control and decisiveness are crucial aspects of attracting and seducing women, and the ENTJ personality has these characteristics in spades. You should find that taking the lead and leading your woman on your dates is not only easy, but second-nature, because you already tend to do this with your other interactions and have for as long as you can remember. And because of your developed intuition, you will be able to see far ahead, make plans, and adapt as the situation develops.

2. Conversation

You should find that, because of the said energy and intelligence you will tend to have, you should make for an excellent conversationalist. You will come across as passionate and interesting, and women will definitely enjoy your company.

3. Potential

You will likely have some degree of ambition, and you will be able to communicate this well. You will have a pride and a desire to be the best you can be. Women will be attracted to it.

4. Smart Decision-Making

Because your intuition will tend to be highly-developed, you will be better able to take in information and make smart decisions. For instance, you will be better able to recognize girls that are more likely to be receptive to your approach and you will be more able to adapt and wait for opportunities to develop. You will not go off half-cocked.

5. Logical Dominance

Louis XIV said that the "surest method of acquiring glory is always to follow the dictates of reason."

As an ENTJ man, your logical mind will dominate your thoughts and actions. You will thus follow the dictates of reason. As a result you are less liable to make emotional decisions and are more likely to come across as being non-needy. Since neediness is an emotion that is somewhat foreign to you (and since you are already interesting and intellectually oriented, you do not find your identity in others).

6. Opportunistic Mentality

ENTJs tend to see everything as a challenge and a learning experience. Because of this, you will probably not only learn very quickly (gaining competency at game with comparatively little experience compared to other types), but you will also (if you have the right mindset) adopt the right mentality of brushing off failure and merely learning from it, rather than getting caught up in it.

These are traits that, if you develop them, will greatly help you in your game. However, there are also some cons to this personality type that you need to be aware of and avoid:

1. Analysis Paralysis

This is far and away the most problematic part of the ENTJ personality in my experience. While your logical intuition is usually one of your greatest assets, it can also be a big curse when it comes to game. Much of game is simply holding your breath and going for what you want by putting yourself out there.

Yet because of the highly developed intuition of the ENTJ, there may be some hesitation where it is not warranted. You may try to analyze and try to have everything be "perfect" before you make a move. Suffice to say, the three second rule is difficult for me to follow, which helps me in some instances, but can also hurt me in others.

To give an example, a couple of weeks ago I saw a very hot girl (who seemed to be from Brazil, given the towel she was using was the Brazilian flag) who displayed ample signs that she was open to being approached. Having used my intuition to conclude this (the good part), I nevertheless hesitated for too long, looking for the "perfect moment" (the bad part). I wasn't counting on some other guy approaching (I barely ever see it), but this time it happened, and I lost out.

I was upset with myself for the rest of the day.

You will likely need to consciously remember to tamp down this bad part of your thought processes.

2. Emotional Blocks

Since you are likely to be such a heavily logical thinker, you may find a bit of trouble discussing things on an emotional level with women.

3.Self-Pressure

Due to your distinct preference for judging over perceiving, you may find yourself putting a lot of pressure on yourself to make quick decisions and commit yourself. Because you feel the immediate need to create structure, it may get you too caught up in your own head and thus, back to analysis paralysis. It may also cause you to be too conventional and hesitant to try out new ideas.

There is a certain type of "Zen" mentality that works well with game ("giving a fuck but not giving a fuck" in the words of one astute commenter at ROK). But this "Zen" mentality is somewhat alien to the ENTJ thought process, given the prevalence of judging.

This block need not be crippling, but it is something you need to be aware of and work on.

4. Self-Criticism

ENTJs are known to hold themselves (and others) to very high standards. If you fail to meet them, you might be too down on yourself and begin to have doubts. This is something you will actively need to combat. When it comes to game, "failure" is the norm, not the exception. You will thus need to train yourself to redefine what failure truly means. You will also need to accept the inevitability of not getting what you want and to not make it a big deal. The good news is that with a little experience, this mentality should get ingrained quickly.

Overall...

The ENTJ type has much potential when it comes to game, with many strengths. However, the weaknesses can be substantial and work against you too. The good news is that your standard cognitive strengths should allow you to deal with those weaknesses given enough experience, and your strengths should also be maximized quickly.

Go on and game, my fellow ENTJs. The world was meant to be yours for the taking. A little confidence in yourself will let your cognitive powers take charge. Women will love it.

Quarterly Report - Q3 2014

Yep, it's that time again. The year sure is passing isn't it? Time to outline once again how I've done with regards to my four major goals for the year.

1. I've continued to progress with my writing, but it has slacked somewhat this quarter in comparison with the first two. I did want to finish by August, but I haven't. The end is drawing nearer, but I need to write at a higher frequency. There have been other things in the way, but those things will soon draw to a close. I also realize that this is an excuse somewhat, and I don't want to make those.

2. Again this is the one that's seen the most improvement. Aside from continuing to contact some old friends (one of whom I saw last week), I have approached and dated more women this quarter than I have in my entire life, and my game is improving by leaps and bounds. I've dedicated a lot of energy to it this past quarter (when it's been warm) and will now need to figure out how to maintain it over this quarter when it cools off. I also need to get together with my friends at a higher frequency.

3. I had a bad allergy season in September, which caused me to slack somewhat, but my physique has made some gains, particularly on my shoulders and abs. My obliques have developed more, and I think I'm starting to see the shadows of my four pack becoming a six pack. Perhaps the next stage of my fitness regimen will be to devote certain full days to certain body parts (such as a day for shoulders, etc.), but I will have to see.

4. This front has mostly been filled with me taking a real estate sales licensing course. I'm finished with it now, and am ready for the proctored exam next Monday. I expect to have my sales license within a month. This will allow me to devote more time to my book and Showdown of Arms.

Rundown:

Writing: Satisfactory
Social Development: Excellent
Workouts/Exercise/Nutrition: Good
Making Money: Progressing, but needs improvement

Why I've Stopped Being a Regular Reader of Return of Kings

This one is going to be a bit painful for me to write, but in my opinion, it needs to be said, and I will follow the advice of Victor Pride when he says to write what you feel down to the depths of your bones, and not publish anything less.

I owe much to Return of Kings. It is undoubtedly the source and community that galvanized me last year to get off my ass and make something better of myself. I needed motivation, discipline, and community. The information coming out of Return of Kings - the hard truths and the fascinating truths, not watered down by any ridiculous adherence to political correctness, is a fountain of knowledge from which all men need to drink, and I am proud to have contributed a couple of articles to the site. Over the past year, I have done things I never even conceived of being possible before, including meeting more women than I ever have in my life, and Return of Kings was the foundation that spurred this personal growth. It exposed me to things and people I had not considered.

That being said, Return of Kings is not a perfect fountain, and that fountain's imperfections have sent me somewhat away. I of course have been and will continue to be an avid reader of anything that Quintus Curtius puts out, because his articles are of consistent high quality - illustrating wisdom that continuously helps me to become a better man. The other articles however, have been on the downswing for months.

Personally, I think there is far, far too much bitching about things - particularly women. Yes, all guys need to know the unvarnished truths about the basics of female psychology, how to handle it, what to watch out for, what to do, and what not to do. However, that is among the first things you learn. The fact that articles continue to come out regarding this topic, often with a negative tone, looks more like bitching to me at this point, rather than anything positive that will turn guys into better men. For instance, do I really need to know (again) why your girlfriend is overrated, read yet again why some guys are traveling to Asia to find women, or read yet another article about the nature of women? Do I really need to read (again) about how The Manipulated Man is the supposed red pill bible?

As you can see, for every article such as Quintus' latest, which warns us about the chaotic whims of fortune and shines light on a fascinating historical case study in discipline, there are easily three or four of the ones that are highlighted above, which beat a dead horse at best and just sound like pure bitching at worst.

I've also noticed that as I've done more things to make myself a better man - training, working on my websites, getting my real estate sales license, writing my book, expanding my social circle, going out and meeting women, etc., I have also read Return of Kings less and less overall. And I wonder if it's the same way with other guys out there. Perhaps this is the reason why guys such as YouSoWould, Mark Manson, Steve Jabba, and others have stated that you can tell that guys aren't successful if they do this kind of stuff too often. At what point does the Manosphere become very much like the feminists and other social justice warriors it professes to despise - complaining about things and demanding they change, instead of changing ourselves for the better?

Do you complain a lot about the lack of femininity in American women, or do you spend more time becoming more masculine instead?

There will be imperfections in any community, and this is the biggest imperfection here. Some of these things do need to be said, of course, but the mean needs to be found, and I think ROK has deviated to the extreme, as has much of the community. I will still continue to go to ROK, but overall you will get more bang for your buck at places like Bold and Determined, Good Looking Loser, Danger & Play, Christian McQueen, etc.

ROK's biggest asset is the reach it has. This is also its biggest fault. It wakes more guys up than anything else. But at the same time it requires clickbait articles and therefore lacks quality control. Once you've woken up, it's time to walk the road. I'm not convinced that ROK is the best companion for that journey. It will always have a place, but not the primary one.

Lessons From My First Two Months of Daygame

While there is much information on game available online, nothing beats real life experience. What you read often goes out the window when you're actually in the moment itself. Nevertheless, I'm writing this down both for myself and any others, particularly newbies, that might stumble across it, in the most simple, easily-executable manner possible.

Day game is quite a different animal than night or social circle game, but of course, a few things always apply. Lessons include both the constants and the differences.

Lesson 1: Don't Obsess Over One Girl

Sometimes you might be tempted to linger around one girl for too long, looking for "the perfect" opportunity to approach her, particularly if you're an analytical person who likes to be in control at all times like I am. This is a mistake. Don't waste too much energy on one girl. You'll see at least one more in seconds. If she doesn't look like a good opportunity, don't waste your time.

Lesson 2: Women Are Friendly

Approach anxiety is a crock of shit. If you look good and present yourself with confidence, you will find that most women, if they aren't busy, are probably open for a chat. When rejected, it will typically happen nicely. Out of all my approaches thus far, I've only gotten two slightly bitchy responses, and those were pathetic. Don't be afraid to approach!

Lesson 3: Don't Cut Yourself Out

A lot of guys will likely overthink things. For instance, I'm sure you've thought in the past that if a woman caught you looking at her, it was "bad." Most of them actually don't notice. If you've been looking at a woman for a while, and think it's awkward, she probably doesn't even know. Don't use it as an excuse to not approach.

This is simply an example of one of many excuses guys make to not approach. Almost all of them are baseless.

Lesson 4: Expect A Lot of Flakes

About 20% of my approaches end in phone numbers. Does that mean 20% of my approaches translate into dates? Hardly. Most of them flake. And while my text and phone game is a sticking point that needs some work, most of them are still going to flake, even with good text/phone game.

The flakes do have a use though - you get used to them. Thus immunized, you will not care if a girl flakes. This in turn will make you more outcome independent and less needy.

Lesson 5: Display Your Ambition/Work in a High Status Job

Almost every woman I have spoken with responds positively when I tell her what line of work I'm currently in and where I plan on going (thus turning the inevitable: "what do you do into?" a way to give value and not take it). I'm involved in state and local politics. This is obviously immediately associated with power. When I talk about the business I plan to start down the line, it conveys ambition and even more opportunity for status. When I talk about my real estate work on the side, there's yet more money and status.

And as we all know, the potential for status is the next best thing to actually having it.

I'll say it now and I'll say it clearly: work in a job that is in a respectable, high-status field, even if you yourself are not that high on the totem pole. One thing I would suggest to you all is to try and get your real estate sales license. While the regulations vary according to where you are, it is not that difficult, and gives you the potential to earn a lot of money. Women's antennas will naturally be tuned into this immediately.

Lesson 6: Know Your Demographics

Half of the game is figuring out what girls are likely to be into you from the start. My success rate adjusts wildly according to who I approach. I'm in my mid-twenties right now. I get very good reactions with 18-24 year-old girls and most of these approaches have ended in at least a number close. Girls in older age groups have not been as welcome. Unfortunately, my neighborhood is not exactly the best place to find those 18-24-year-olds, but there are enough places.

Be selective. Find girls that are more likely to be interested in you and focus on them.

Lesson 7: Have a Prop

Bring something interesting along with you, like a camera or a book. A book is one of my favorites, because you can talk about what a girl likes to read. Not only will this allow you to screen her as to whether she is an interesting person or not, but you can also demonstrate your worldliness and talk about emotionally-engaging things.

The Glory & Grind Cycle

If you talk with some guys who have been out in the field for a while, they'll tell you that meeting women is a real grind, and there are a lot of things that to a degree are outside of your control, even when things are going well. Even when you do everything right, The Fates just seem to conspire against you in some ways. As I've come out of my shell, I'm beginning to experience this too.

Two days ago I went out to Central Park. There I saw a real beautiful girl walking by. I hesitated for a moment, but walked towards her and had my opener ready. I went direct, telling her that I saw her and I wanted to meet her. By the way she stopped and looked at me, I could tell that it was on immediately. When she answered in a foreign accent I knew she was from somewhere in Northern or Eastern Europe, and she had that look to her too. After playing a short guessing game, she answered that she was from Denmark.

Now, Denmark has had a bit of an infamous reputation in the community ever since Roosh wrote his Don't Bang Denmark guide, but I'm happy to say that this girl was great. I took her on an instant date. She was very elegant and feminine, and I could have a conversation with her without being bored out of my mind or talking about vapid stupidity. Much to my delight, she dislikes the spread of things like social media just as much as I do, and she had a really deep personality. One of the things she said that was most memorable was how there was no hardship anymore, that people just have it too easy. It was at that point that I relayed the story of my grandfather to her, which she really liked. I was even able to talk about the Homeric epics with her, and she had a lot to say about them too. I've remarked in the last post about the lack of femininity in American women (on average). It's true. There was just no comparison. This girl was simply a cut above the majority of American women you will meet, even here in New York.

Alright, so maybe I'm harping now, but I really liked her. She was such a breath of fresh air compared to the girls I normally speak to. I approached another girl just before I met this one, and while she was generally cool too and I got her number (even while her boyfriend was in the vicinity), she did not have nearly the dimensions or the femininity that this one had.

The basic game principles still applied of course. I made sure that I was the leader of that interaction. The fact that she was essentially a wandering tourist helped maintain this frame. Aside from leading her, I made jokes about her being the future soccer mom of my kids, and was aggressive with the physical contact. I made sure to touch her early, putting my hand on her waist to guide her to different places. One hilarious thing that really helped was that someone came up to us at one of the fountains and was passing this ad for a palm reader. When this guy left I made fun of it by doing a mock palm reading. I kissed the back of her hand after that. She complained about how she had mosquito bites. I kissed one of those too, which sounds kind of stupid here, but it was cool and even romantic at the time. She's a rather modest girl, and began to remark at how aggressive I was when I held her hand, and shit tested me by asking "what if I were to have a boyfriend?" I can't exactly remember what I said to blow past this, but I just shook it off because it legitimately didn't bother me. I mean, if she were to have a boyfriend (at least one she really cared about), she wouldn't have been doing any of this with me.

As Chris says at Good Looking Loser: "don't be smooth, be aggressive."

And since I'm interesting and such a naturally good conversationalist, I can get away with being aggressive and smooth at the same time. Of course it just helped that I knew she was rather attracted to me from the start, which will induce you to be more aggressive.

Anyway, I led her to a bunch of different places over many hours, in and out of the park. It was a great date by all accounts. It was a day of glory.

Now comes the grind.

Bad logistics can just really fuck you up, and to a large extent, it's outside your control. Unfortunately this girl was leaving New York the next day. What shitty luck.

We exchanged contact information of course. However, more logistical problems have arisen.

Because of her international calling code, when I tried to send the customary text messages, I got them returned for having an invalid number.

Fuck.

I made a huge ass mistake in not getting her email. Newbie mistake. I know never to do this again.

The only card I seemed to have left to play was the dreaded Facebook card. She gave me that.

I found her last night. No friend request option. I grudgingly had to pay $1.13 to send her a message that would go directly to her inbox.

Now, my text game I think is comparatively weak, but I tried the best I could, trying to convey some flirtation and rapport. But still, it's fucking Facebook.

Now I can only hope she'll respond.

It sucks. It sucks because not only was this girl one of the two best-looking girls I've approached so far, but she also had the best personality, hands down. Her sophistication and femininity really drew me in. She is everything I could ever ask for in a woman.

Now, I understand the importance of not getting one-itis, and I just wrote an article about Louis XIV's memoirs wherein he advised his reader to have no attachments or favorites. It is good advice. I am therefore making sure to be as detached from this as possible. You do that by moving forward toward your goals every day like a perpetual motion machine and having the proper priorities, as well as of course going out and approaching other women.

The reason I say this is because it's just something you need to be aware of, in the world at large and in meeting women. You could have an excellent date and then that momentum might be lost either through logistical problems, her fickleness, or just horrible luck. You need to have a strong inner game and grounding to keep things in the proper perspective and not get too emotional.

She is considering coming to New York to go to school, and did say she wants to see me again. So all I can do at this point is try and do what I can.

The weather of life is unpredictable. It could be a sunny day and then a stormy one. The only thing you have is yourself and how you choose to respond to these things. The fact that I did (mostly) everything right with this approach/date, and with a very beautiful girl, is a grand victory in itself.

As a humorous end note, I'll say that when I was walking around with her, arm on her waist, I noticed that I was getting many more eyefucks from other women than usual. Pre-selection really is the most powerful attraction trigger there is.

Three Approach Adventure - The Worst & The Best

I've been going out for long walks to do some daygaming for the past couple of months. This is good bodily exercise as well as gives you more experience.

I'll tell you this: if you're sitting at home all day, or you're working in an environment where there aren't many attractive women, the first thing you need to do is desensitize yourself to their presence. If you're only seeing beautiful women in pictures, or worse, as porn, your innate approach anxiety is going to be increased fivefold.

Once you get used to being in the presence of beautiful women, approaching them becomes a bit less difficult. Once you begin your first few approaches, it becomes even less so.

To this regard I again return to a quote by Louis XIV:

“Habit is the most safe and most convenient mistress to render all things easy to us; the most arduous labor in itself insensibly becomes easy to those who are inured to it for a long time, and such dangers as at first astonish the multitude have so little effect upon those who are accustomed to them that they behold them undismayed.”

Today I went out and approached three women. The first was the worst rejection I've ever gotten. The third was the hottest girl I've approached yet. (If you want to know, the stories I choose to relay on this blog are the ones that are unique to me and that I learn the most from, that's why I emphasize this or that thing.)

The first one was a street approach. An attractive blonde was walking by. I sighted her without much time to think. An indirect opener (such as McQueen's Starbucks Opener) would probably have been better in this situation, but having no time to think, I just went direct and asked if she was going to walk out of my life forever.

Her reaction was a sarcastic "uhh...yeah...?"

And this was the worst rejection I've had so far.

This just again proves that any fear of rejection and the unknown is ridiculous. Nothing happens. I've taken and laughed at far worse stuff than this.

The second approach was in the park. This girl had a dog and I opened her about it. She was very talkative, but she was waiting for a landwhale of a friend. When the friend came along, I ejected. I didn't feel like competing for attention with the landwhale. I told myself had better things to do (and indeed, I did).

I pussied out of doing another approach. There was a sunbather that I wanted to talk to. I admit, at this point I'm still confounded with how to approach these girls. It's summer time and there are a lot of girls in bikinis soaking up sun at the parks. This one wasn't even reading or had headphones in, too, a common obstacle with these girls. Overall, I'm not too worried about this. I'll figure it out. The barrier is more psychological than anything else (as most things are).

However, as I was contemplating approaching the sunbather I noticed a very beautiful girl walk by. Tanned, long hair, red lipstick to contrast the tan, and very high heels. My brain was still in freeze mode while contemplating to approach the other girl, and she walked by.

After pussying out, I exited the park. I decided to walk down the avenue on the outskirts of the park because there were more girls there. Then I saw her again, moving to cross the street. My brain was telling me that this must have been fate.

Naturally, I took advantage and followed her. I saw that she was carrying one of those Louis Vuitton bags that every other girl carries. That was my opener. When we reached the end of the street, I looked at it and teased her about it.

We walked and talked for several blocks. It turns out she's a model, which is something I sort of suspected. I must say I'm better at making small talk than I thought I was. I'm a pretty talkative guy, and tend to dominate my conversations quickly. This can either be an asset or a curse when it comes to game.

When I asked her out for coffee, she told me she had a fiance. Whether it's true or not is irrelevant. However, what matters more is that she responded that she thought I was just being nice. This again tells me that injecting more masculine sexual energy into my approaches (especially when going indirect, and in the daytime where touching has to be kept to a minimum) is something I need to work on.

Nevertheless it was a good interaction that left us both happier for having had it (evidenced by the fact that she hugged me goodbye with an enthusiastic smile on her face). It was also quite telling to know that the hottest girl I've yet approached was also one of the nicest.

A year ago when I began this blog, the element of doubt was very much present. The beta voice in my head was telling me that I would never have been able to approach a girl that hot on the street in the daytime and ask her out. Yet here I am. It's taken consistent months of effort in multiple areas to overcome those psychological barriers, but here I am.

There are new obstacles now to be overcome, new challenges await, but it is these challenges that make us men. The betas shrink from them. The ones that rise to glory meet them with eagerness, as it means that life is not boring.

As an aside, I was listening to this old folk song today, and I think it sums up perfectly this drive for adventure and challenge that rumbles inside the heart of men seeking glory:

"Hark now the drums beat up again
For all true soldier gentlemen,
Then let us list and march, I say,
Over the Hills and far away.

(Chorus)
Over the hills and o'er the main
To Flanders, Portugal and Spain,
Queen Anne commands and we'll obey,
Over the hills and far away.

All gentlemen that have a mind,
To serve the queen that's good and kind,
Come list and enter into pay,
Then over the hills and far away.

No more from sound of drum retreat,
While Marlborough and Galway beat,
The French and Spaniards every day,
When over the hills and far away."