One of the blogs on my blogroll, Good Looking Loser, talks about the need to be above average to consistently get laid. I agree with it more or less. At the very least, it's something that you should strive for.
But here's the good news: being above average is easy.
Why? The competition is just so damn pitiful.
Let me give you an example. Yesterday, I went to an event at my Alma Mater, one which I only found out about that morning by coincidence. It was not only at my school, but a very influential acquaintance of mine (an insider in local politics) was going to be on the panel. I hesitated for a moment, since I have a history of what I think is mild social anxiety, but I'm not the man I was a year ago or even three months ago. My first instinct was to go, and remembering the advice of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Louis XIV, combined with a recent ROK article about seizing opportunities, it was a no-brainer.
So I went. I took care to go as a well-dressed man - not exactly suited up, but a more casual style that gives the wearer a degree of sophistication (blazer, non-hipster jeans, and a button-down tucked in alongside some black suede shoes, with sunglasses). I checked myself in the mirror. I looked good. Perhaps I was a bit overdressed for this event, but I believe in Mark Manson's advice: always be the best-dressed man in the room.
And when I got there it quickly became apparent that I was. I met an old professor who told me I looked good.
It was hard not to, in comparison to the other people I saw. The guys there were dressed hideously - terrible shoes, outfits that made them look goofy, etc. You probably suspect what I'm talking about here. Granted as I said, I was probably a bit overdressed - this was a daytime event at a college campus, but that doesn't change the fact that the guys were dressed poorly. I see most people on the street or anyplace else not dressed much better. I've particularly noticed shoes and can understand why women pay so much attention to them - they reveal a lot about you. Most guys just put on their unkempt sneakers and go out. I've even seen this footwear at clubs many times.
A little tiny bit of effort really does go a long way.
And I'm not even going to mention body language. Most guys have terrible or at best sub-optimal body language. Not so with me anymore.
To say that this is a confidence booster is an understatement. It really is like seeing the Matrix, and with one simple trick you begin to bend reality to your will. Most people truly are on autopilot, and by doing a few simple things (this among them), you are leagues ahead.
And looking good means feeling good. There were two cute girls there (more on that to come in the next post). How do you think an approach would go dressed the way I was compared with the others? Who would have a better chance? I made extended eye contact with one of those girls and she brightened at least twice at me, returning my eye contact and looking away first. I was a bit ballsy, I made no attempt to hide my attraction - and that certainly played a part, but looking good certainly helped too. Whether she was actually interested in me of course is a different matter, since you can never truly know until you approach.
Again, more on that to come.
There's still a ways to go to get where I want to be, but I must say that after one year of frequenting corners of the manosphere and about eight months of taking overall self-improvement seriously one gradual step at a time, I am peaks beyond where I was in the past, and it is only going to get better. I would have done none of this a year ago, absolutely none of it.
Now that's real progress. It's above average, and it's a lot easier than you think.
Hopefully I didn't dance to my own drum too much in this post, but hey I feel good and want to encourage other guys where I can, limited though my voice is.