Friday, July 18, 2014

The Glory & Grind Cycle

If you talk with some guys who have been out in the field for a while, they'll tell you that meeting women is a real grind, and there are a lot of things that to a degree are outside of your control, even when things are going well. Even when you do everything right, The Fates just seem to conspire against you in some ways. As I've come out of my shell, I'm beginning to experience this too.

Two days ago I went out to Central Park. There I saw a real beautiful girl walking by. I hesitated for a moment, but walked towards her and had my opener ready. I went direct, telling her that I saw her and I wanted to meet her. By the way she stopped and looked at me, I could tell that it was on immediately. When she answered in a foreign accent I knew she was from somewhere in Northern or Eastern Europe, and she had that look to her too. After playing a short guessing game, she answered that she was from Denmark.

Now, Denmark has had a bit of an infamous reputation in the community ever since Roosh wrote his Don't Bang Denmark guide, but I'm happy to say that this girl was great. I took her on an instant date. She was very elegant and feminine, and I could have a conversation with her without being bored out of my mind or talking about vapid stupidity. Much to my delight, she dislikes the spread of things like social media just as much as I do, and she had a really deep personality. One of the things she said that was most memorable was how there was no hardship anymore, that people just have it too easy. It was at that point that I relayed the story of my grandfather to her, which she really liked. I was even able to talk about the Homeric epics with her, and she had a lot to say about them too. I've remarked in the last post about the lack of femininity in American women (on average). It's true. There was just no comparison. This girl was simply a cut above the majority of American women you will meet, even here in New York.

Alright, so maybe I'm harping now, but I really liked her. She was such a breath of fresh air compared to the girls I normally speak to. I approached another girl just before I met this one, and while she was generally cool too and I got her number (even while her boyfriend was in the vicinity), she did not have nearly the dimensions or the femininity that this one had.

The basic game principles still applied of course. I made sure that I was the leader of that interaction. The fact that she was essentially a wandering tourist helped maintain this frame. Aside from leading her, I made jokes about her being the future soccer mom of my kids, and was aggressive with the physical contact. I made sure to touch her early, putting my hand on her waist to guide her to different places. One hilarious thing that really helped was that someone came up to us at one of the fountains and was passing this ad for a palm reader. When this guy left I made fun of it by doing a mock palm reading. I kissed the back of her hand after that. She complained about how she had mosquito bites. I kissed one of those too, which sounds kind of stupid here, but it was cool and even romantic at the time. She's a rather modest girl, and began to remark at how aggressive I was when I held her hand, and shit tested me by asking "what if I were to have a boyfriend?" I can't exactly remember what I said to blow past this, but I just shook it off because it legitimately didn't bother me. I mean, if she were to have a boyfriend (at least one she really cared about), she wouldn't have been doing any of this with me.

As Chris says at Good Looking Loser: "don't be smooth, be aggressive."

And since I'm interesting and such a naturally good conversationalist, I can get away with being aggressive and smooth at the same time. Of course it just helped that I knew she was rather attracted to me from the start, which will induce you to be more aggressive.

Anyway, I led her to a bunch of different places over many hours, in and out of the park. It was a great date by all accounts. It was a day of glory.

Now comes the grind.

Bad logistics can just really fuck you up, and to a large extent, it's outside your control. Unfortunately this girl was leaving New York the next day. What shitty luck.

We exchanged contact information of course. However, more logistical problems have arisen.

Because of her international calling code, when I tried to send the customary text messages, I got them returned for having an invalid number.


I made a huge ass mistake in not getting her email. Newbie mistake. I know never to do this again.

The only card I seemed to have left to play was the dreaded Facebook card. She gave me that.

I found her last night. No friend request option. I grudgingly had to pay $1.13 to send her a message that would go directly to her inbox.

Now, my text game I think is comparatively weak, but I tried the best I could, trying to convey some flirtation and rapport. But still, it's fucking Facebook.

Now I can only hope she'll respond.

It sucks. It sucks because not only was this girl one of the two best-looking girls I've approached so far, but she also had the best personality, hands down. Her sophistication and femininity really drew me in. She is everything I could ever ask for in a woman.

Now, I understand the importance of not getting one-itis, and I just wrote an article about Louis XIV's memoirs wherein he advised his reader to have no attachments or favorites. It is good advice. I am therefore making sure to be as detached from this as possible. You do that by moving forward toward your goals every day like a perpetual motion machine and having the proper priorities, as well as of course going out and approaching other women.

The reason I say this is because it's just something you need to be aware of, in the world at large and in meeting women. You could have an excellent date and then that momentum might be lost either through logistical problems, her fickleness, or just horrible luck. You need to have a strong inner game and grounding to keep things in the proper perspective and not get too emotional.

She is considering coming to New York to go to school, and did say she wants to see me again. So all I can do at this point is try and do what I can.

The weather of life is unpredictable. It could be a sunny day and then a stormy one. The only thing you have is yourself and how you choose to respond to these things. The fact that I did (mostly) everything right with this approach/date, and with a very beautiful girl, is a grand victory in itself.

As a humorous end note, I'll say that when I was walking around with her, arm on her waist, I noticed that I was getting many more eyefucks from other women than usual. Pre-selection really is the most powerful attraction trigger there is.

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