Were You Happy?

A lot of us begin the journey to masculine self-improvement (IE: take the "red pill") because we're unhappy, or full of regret. There's a sort of cognitive dissonance with the self, because we know, to a certain extent, that we've been had. The desire to improve ourselves causes us to start on the road.

Over the past weekend I began to have a lot of doubts. One of my biggest problems is that I'm very self-critical. Even though this allows me to more rationally and fully analyze my mistakes and correct them accordingly, it has its negative side as well: too much self-criticism and you begin to let doubts creep in, which will not serve you in any meaningful capacity on the journey and actively hinder you. Thoughts like "will I ever be good enough?" and "will I be able to achieve my desires?" crept in and caused some significant consternation.

Then yesterday, Quintus Curtius released his latest on Return of Kings: The Anguish of the Manosphere. It seemed to mirror in some ways those feelings I'd had. It reaffirmed what I'd already known for a long time: you need to enjoy your own company first and foremost. Anything else is secondary, and you cannot change others if they don't want to change.

Relaying my comment below:

Is there any more doubt that Quintus is the best writer on this site? And I say that with utmost sincerity.

I've felt this pain. When I was younger I couldn't stand the idiocy of my peers (and still can't), and I withdrew from the world for the most part, with feelings of superiority. But it also made me feel left behind in a way, or in some way strange. I struggled with this and still do. Lack of motivation was pervasive. I just didn't want to do a damn thing, and then paradoxically I felt/feel bad about myself for not doing so.

But you can't change others. It is useless to try. Balance withdrawal with a kingly presence. The best thing I learned through the years is that you must enjoy your own company, first and foremost. Take your crown and above all, do not negotiate your dignity. My upcoming article will tie into this.

Thanks for this post. Gave me a fresh perspective. I'll be coming back to this a lot when feelings of doubt creep in.

Reading Quintus' latest entry made me ask perhaps the supreme question: "are/were you happy?" Despite the doubts I'd had stemming from the situation described above- feelings of being left behind, isolation, lack of motivation, etc. I was happy. I was passionate. I'd built a powerful identity for myself. There was therefore no reason for me to feel regret, and by extension, no reason for doubt. This is the sort of self-acceptance that YouSoWould describes. The feelings of doubt stemmed partially from measuring others. And who really cares about that? Why would a powerful man feel insecure enough to compare himself to others- except to use that envy as a tool of galvanization?

This is self-acceptance. Accept who you are, but also strive to move ever upward. That is the ascent of man. If you were/are not unhappy with your life, there really is nothing to regret. Just go get what you want and leave any doubt behind.

Many people who take the red pill started out very unhappy. I did not. That is a key aspect to identify and mark down, so that doubt and regret will not hold you back from your destiny.